Агресията, ражда агресия или какво се получава, когато родителят не знае да възпитава

Какво да кажем за онези хора, които създават война на пътя -пресичат на червено или се возят с превишена скорост? На пътя е лесно да покажеш агресия, да покажеш, колко ти е трудно в живота и как се бориш всеки ден, да оцелееш, защото работата ти е трудна, заплатата малка, шефът ти не те уважава или колегите ти правят мръсно. Има и още стотици причини един човек да покаже светоето недоволство от битието си с агресия, защото е по-лесно да бъдеш агресивен, към някой, когото не познаваш, но няма да видиш никога повече.
Много по-лесно е да се скараш, с една жена, която те е прередила на опашката, отколкото да заявиш, твърдо на майка си, да не се меси във възпитанието на децата ти. Защото майка ти има едно определено държание към теб, създаващо чувство на вина. Ами ако се разсърди толкова много, че не се съгласи вече да взима Гошко от градината? Или ако и кажеш, да не слага тези странни завеси, в твоя хол, може да се обиди толкова много и да ти напомни как те е люляла по цели нощи, как те е водила на почивки, как се е грижила за теб докато си била болна? И ето я, тази висока, млада жена, която се натиска да вземе топъл хляб преди теб и се прави, че не вижда, че си с количка със спящо бебе и разбира се, си преди нея…Погледнах я и в този миг, ядът ми се изпари и се замести със страх. Видях, как тя загуби равновесие и започна да пада, в посока детската количка със сладко спящата ми дъщеря. Опитах да изместя количката в някаква друга посока, но от двете ми страни имаше щайги, едните пълни, а другите празни. Пред мен и зад мен имаше хора и започнах да стъпвам по нечии обувки, но резултата беше изместване от мястото на падане само с около пет сантиметра. Така заклещена с детето в капана на опашката, нямаше мърдане и за да избегна удара просто прикрих детето с ръце и тяло. За секунда останах без дъх и зачаках тази жена да спре да се върти и мята ръце и да падне. Не знам, как тя успя да измести центъра на тежестта си така, че да не падне върху детето, а се строполи върху четири наредени една върху друга празни щайги. Падна по лице, а след това направи едно кълбо напред, с три крачки стигна до касата. Хвърли пари на продавачката и почти летейки, излезе от магазина.
След това акробатично изпълнение, в опашката настана суматоха. Хората коментираха изумени, как може да има толкова нахална жена, която нито гледа къде стъпва, нито че е прередила петима клиенти. Разтичаха се хора от персонала и започнаха да събират парчетата от счупените щайги и да въведат ред пред касите на магазина. Дори управителя излезе и очаквах да каже нещо съчувствено защото за малко избегнах неприятен инцидент с детето. Но той каза само, че нищо не се е случило. Че жената е редовна клиента и просто бърза. За миг настъпи тишина. Огледах се смутено и видях, че всички бяха вперили поглед в управителя, дори и другите работещи в магазина го гледаха със зяпнали уста. Възмутих се, и разбрах, че трябва веднага да се махна от тази суматоха. Внимателно подех към изхода и мислех, че току що за втори път някой направи голямо кълбо в този магазин. Първо беше бързащата жена, която не се интересува дали ще уплаши или ще удари някого, важното беше да стигне до касата макар и през главите на други клиенти. А сега и управителя, който се опитваше да омаловажи случилото се. Точно на входа се наложи да изчакам, защото клиентите масово напускаха, в пълна тишина. Обърнах се и погледнах празния магазин и след това погледа ми се насочи отново към управителя. Той смутено наблюдаваше как всички излизат и оставят на касата пълните си колички и кошници с покупки.
На паркинга на магазина отново засякох, онази висока и руса жена, която създаде такава суматоха. Тя се опитваше да изкара колата си от паркинга. Там се оказа, че има шофьори и пешеходки, които явно и пречеха. Тя натискаше клаксона и бясно мяташе с ръце. Не я чувах какво казва, но личеше че е ядосана. Когато джипът и се изравни с мен, видях лицето и. Познавам я. Познах я! Тя е известен модел, съпруга на известен певец, моя съседка и през ден люлеем децата си заедно на люлките. Изумена стоях на паркинга и се опитвах да анализирам случитото се.
Излишно е да казвам, че кръкът ми не стъпи повече в този магазин. Нито пък видях въпросната жена отново. Само един път това лято засякох детето на площадката, но беше с детегледачката и баба си. Докато се люлееше на люлката, крещеше с все сила, че играчките са нейни и никой да не ги бута или взима. А всеки възрастен знае, че с играчки на детските места не се ходи, защото там освен твоето собствено дете ще има още поне четирдесет, които също ще искат да играят с топката или с куклите и ако искаш да избегнеш сълзи и рев, не носиш нищо със себе си. Площадките са за да тичат децата и да играят на чист въздух, а играчките са за у дома. Докато си разсъждавах така, заедно с другите родители и деца, излязохме от площадката с дъщеря ми. Там остана само въпросното дете, с баба си и детегледачката. А гласът и рязък и силен се чуваше още дълго време зад гърбовете ни: “Ела, глупачке, дай ми топката и да не си посмяла да спреш да ме люлееш!”.
И не става въпрос за критика, защото ако не искаш да бъдеш критикуван или се страхуваш, от сърдити погледи и мърморене, просто си седиш на канапето у дома и не правиш нищо. Да си родител е трудно и отговорно, а най-добрите родители, са онези, които още нямат деца. И никой не се е родил научен, всеки ден е време за четене, за информиране и търсене на решения с детето, защото само една недоспала майка, може да прави шпагати, салта и кълбета в магазина, пред смаяните очи на съседите си и с цената на всичко да купи бързо мляко и да се върне при дерящото се от рев отроче. Но и само една недоспала майка, знае че в израза “Спи като бебе”, няма грам истина. Защото бебетата не спят, те си плачат и в това няма нищо лошо. Това е техният начин да изразят себе си, да кажат какво им е и да покажат чувствата си. Ако обаче майката допусне плача да вземе превес, тогава ставаме свидетели на крещящо и нареждащо дете, което прави майка си, баба си и детегледачката си да изглеждат леко луди и много безпомощни.
Отакто тази същата жена, стана майка за втори път, отново не идва на площадките, нито на разходки, но децата и с две детегледачки и със същата баба, правят цяло представление всеки ден. Няма лошо, намерила е начин поне за малко да бъде сама и да успя да възвърне силите си за да се появява отново по корици на списания и телевизионни предавания.
Цялата тази история се случи преди две години и половина. Поради пълна родителска заетост, си оставаше в графата “Видяни, чути и преживяни”, но не можеше по никакъв начин да влезе в графата “Написани”. Ето че, се получи. За съжаление, нямам възможност за редакция, нито да я чета повторно. Използвам метода, на автоматичното писане и каквото се получи…

Автор: Диляна Иванова

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